Want to know what your most prominent issues are for healing?
Stop the behaviors that numb and distract you, and the feelings and fears will come flooding.
But seriously, let me share my experience with this. A few years ago, when I was deeply immersed in my career as a very successful business coach on the outside, inside I was quite miserable. I’ve shared about this journey very transparently over the last few months.
It’s not that I didn’t love my clients, and I certainly love the role of teaching and mentoring. But the subject matter – strategies on how to get clients – was not what my heart knew I was here to do.
Anyway, as my business was growing, so was I. And I’m not talking about the personal growth. What I mean is, gaining significant weight.
Yep, I was eating. A lot. And red wine was not foreign to me. Because I wanted to numb out from my feelings.
This is a very easy thing to do, and a very comforting thing to do. But stay in this rut too long and it becomes an even bigger problem than the problems you are trying to run away from.
So… after 50 pounds and my body breaking down with knee pain and bloating – let along my self-esteem taking such a hit – it was time to STOP using those dysfunctional behaviors.
But… as you might imagine… without them I was left with the rush of feelings. And fears.
“Can I really let all of this go? Can I really go back to the personal growth space? Our income is going to plummet during the transition. What if I can’t get it back? What if now the market is too crowded as compared to 2000-2010 when I had my thriving practice in life coaching? What if I can’t provide for my family? And what about the people I employ now, I have a responsibility to them…”
There sure was a lot I was stuffing down (literally).
So, at the breaking point when I STOPPED allowing myself to reach for a glass of red wine or an ice cream sandwich, I had to deal with this stuff.
I had to seek a new spiritual counselor to work with (much like a coach) to guide me through the process, I had to manage the anxiety with prayer and meditation, and I had to powerfully reframe those limiting beliefs I was harboring about things turning out OK.
(The funniest thing being that this is the exact work I do with clients – and have for years – but wow can I not see things when it’s myself I’m looking at!).
And I should really rephrase the word “had.” I CHOSE to.
And all in all, the profound growth happened when I put down the distractions. And distractions aren’t only addiction types of items, they can be over-focus on things like exercise, or a new crush, or overworking too.
Moving through the feelings and fears is why I am here today. Forty-five pounds lighter (5 to go!). And with a thriving coaching practice BACK in the personal growth space, with clients who are committed to facing their OWN doubt, fears, guilt, etc. to build extraordinarily fulfilling lives.
I challenge you to put down the behavior that you turn to when things get sad, or scary, or angry. (Yes, you know which behavior that is – it’s the one that just popped into your mind!). I promise freedom is on the other side.