“Trust Means NOT Knowing”

MA image 1-18-16OK, so I HATE not knowing how things are going to turn out. Like, in any situation. I was born out of a family that was all about control, control, control. Being able to control your surroundings, circumstances, even other people was a way to stay safe! To make sure nothing terrible would happen (which was always the thing hanging over me).

And guess what – for a little while in my life, I had the illusion of control!

(Note that I said “illusion” – ha ha ha. I never had control, just thought I did).

But even that façade became broken eventually. I finally had to admit that I was not omnipotent – and couldn’t actually be the director of all of the action in my life.

Now, for any one of us, this is a devastating realization. My first reaction was abject terror that some HUGE shoe was going to drop and I could do nothing about it.

BUT… with this realization came an opportunity for one of the biggest transformations of my life – and one that I’m still working on!

And that is to embody… TRUST.

Trust specifically means that we DON’T have certainty about any outcome! In fact, if we do, it’s not trust. Trust has to happen in the absence of evidence.

One way I initially “took this on” is by asking myself, “What would someone who was in total trust right now do?” I asked this even though my foundation in trust was admittedly shaky. But I could often get the answer when I imagined it being someone else.

Then, that gave me the opportunity to choose that action that a “trusting” person would take, or not. And at the beginning it was NOT. I realized what trust would dictate – which was extremely valuable — but I just couldn’t take those actions yet. Too much fear.

And then, one choice at a time, I began to take actions here and there based on trust. Based on surrender, letting go. It’s not that I didn’t have a STRONG preference for the outcome I was desiring, but I let go of controlling it. And of course, the more I practiced, the easier it became.

On of the things I learned when getting my M.A. in Spiritual Psychology from the ever-wise Ron Hulnick was this phrase:

This or something better for the highest good of all concerned

Turns out at the Universe / God / The Divine often has something in store for us that is MUCH much bigger and greater than our little human minds can conceive. (Isn’t that great for a control freak to realize?).

So… take the leap with me? I’ve just announced my return to Transformational Personal Growth Coaching. Yep, even in the face of a big business dedicated to teaching biz-building to others… with financial security… prestige… and a whole lot of work behind it.

But I know that the personal empowerment field is why I got into this work, and I have 10 years facilitating it full-time as a career behind me BEFORE teaching the biz stuff – so what the hell, I’m going back.

And guess what ONE spiritual principle this is requiring of me beyond any other?

(You guessed it). TRUST.

Barb Wade

Barb is a Speaker, Author, and Coach, who has been on the leading edge of Transformational Coaching for over 15 years. Barb works with high-achievers who, despite external accomplishments, are finding themselves yearning for more freedom, joy, and meaning in their lives. Barb herself knows that “hole” of quiet desperation that can exist even though achievement is high.

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