Main Article graphic3.3.16Okay, raise your hand if you’re a bit of a control freak. Yeah, me too. (Although I prefer to use the term “Control Enthusiast”).

I’d certainly been taught – and I think it’s prevalent in our society — that if we just hold the right vision (a la “The Secret) and take the right actions, we will produce the exact results that we want.

But that’s not…quite…exactly true.

So what the hell are we supposed to do then?

The answer is trust and surrender. Yes, hold the vision and take the actions, but TRUST that things are unfolding for your absolute highest good, and will bring immeasurable gifts beyond what our little human brains can think up!

Truthfully, taking too much control actually slows us down and keeps us locked in a fear mentality. Plus, it impedes the real miracles from happening.

As a recovering control freak, here are some of the things I’ve learned over the years:

  • Control is rooted in fear. We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.
  • Control is about producing a certain outcome. We have decided in advance how things must turn out and we always know best, of course. =)
  • The energy exerted by “control” is wasted (i.e. worry, upset, etc.). When we trust we can handle whatever the outcome will be, we can stop wasting time micro-managing the universe and get on with more important things.
  • Attempting to control everything actually feels less in control. When I’m really worried about something and trying to control all the aspects and outcomes surrounding it, I am agitated, nervous, sleepless, and distracted. In short, I feel “OUT of control.”

Surrender, on the other hand, feels peaceful, calm, and focused. I may not be able to see the big picture quite yet, but because I’m not losing time and sanity with worry and anxiety, I am more creative, present, and actually get more done.

When I’m holding on to something with the “death grip” of control, I know that I am in my own way.

So, just what is surrender?

Surrender is an acceptance of reality and trusting how things are unfolding, even without (gasp!) my input.

Surrender does not feel like a fight upstream. It feels like harnessing the energy of flow and going with it.

So try to let go a little today. You may just like it.

Barb Wade

Barb is a Speaker, Author, and Coach, who has been on the leading edge of Transformational Coaching for over 15 years. Barb works with high-achievers who, despite external accomplishments, are finding themselves yearning for more freedom, joy, and meaning in their lives. Barb herself knows that “hole” of quiet desperation that can exist even though achievement is high.

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