Once upon a time, I was the girl most likely...

Success came early. Driven in school, I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Tufts University and did graduate studies at Oxford in England.

Academia was great and all, but theater was my escape -- I'd wanted to be an actress since I was a little girl. So I moved to LA, as you do, and promptly landed a lead role on a prime-time NBC series right out of the gate. First job. Dream job.

By the time I was 27, I'd moved behind-the-scenes, and found myself running a division of the then-new movie studio, Dreamworks. I was working directly with one Mr. Steven Spielberg. Yes! The future was lit up in lights, and it was full of champagne and red carpets and evening dresses and Oscar parties...

But nothing could stop the secret ache.

I was constantly in fear. Never good enough. Always waiting to be found out.

I was desperate for others' approval and chronically people-pleased as a result. I used perfectionism to cling to any semblance of control over my life, to feel safe and secure.

Every time something went right, I'd celebrate success for just a fleeting moment before the fear would creep back:

     You're gonna lose this...

     You don't deserve it...

     You'd better not screw up...

The more successful I became, the harder I had to work, just to keep myself a "star." The emotional exhaustion was unrelenting.

Here's the thing: I knew this was no way to live.

At first I tried to push it down. Kept thinking the next accolade would finally fill the hole.

But inside, I knew this wasn't how my life was supposed to turn out. The fear. The overwhelm. The sadness. The depletion. The continual self-abandonment. This could not go on. Not for another day longer.

One night I had a deep emotional breakdown on the floor of my living room. Heaving. Sobbing. My accomplishments notwithstanding, I could no longer deny that I was falling apart.

Reclaim it. Piece by piece.

I was at a choice point. And I chose to save my life.

Because I had completely burnt myself out chasing other people's dreams. I'd followed society's script. I'd done it all "right." I had everything that should have made me happy and nothing my heart genuinely desired.

I. Was. Done.

Done playing the part they gave me.

Done delivering their lines.

Done smiling on center stage only to tear up in the darkness of the wings.

Done delivering this entire performance, period.

What was required was for me to step up and take radical responsibility for the unfolding of my own damn life, from this moment on. To take the risk of discovering who I truly was, and advocating for her, no matter what. To write a brand new script.

So I dove right in. Got support. Unlearned. Let go. Listened to the beat of my own heart, for once. Paid attention when it quickened for the right reasons.

I learned to stop giving myself up in order to meet someone else's expectations. I stopped abandoning myself, helplessly, in pursuit of that unrelenting need to be liked.

I learned to set boundaries, to say no, to listen to my gut instead of my head, because my head had led me well off my path, for far too long.

I learned to treat myself as worth, even in my imperfection. To revel in myself and my humanness. To clean up mistakes without shame. To actually delight in my own company.

Most of all, I learned I had a right and a duty to be who I am, to discover MY dreams, and to bring my unique, beautiful, perfectly imperfect self to the world…. without judgment or apology.

I'm still certainly very accomplished by any outside measure. I'm honored to say I've been a successful coach, published author, and sought-after speaker for 20 years now. I have an M.A. in Spiritual Psychology. I have been featured on NBC, CBS News, ABC, Thrive Global, and was even hired as the On-Air Life Coach for the Fine Living Channel for 8 years.

But what matters is that I get to wake up every day to a life aligned with MY values and priorities. I get to serve deeply and meaningfully through my work. I have a beautiful family, rich relationships, good health, and financial security. When life is at its messiest, I'm able to feel my feelings, keep perspective, and allow myself to be human.

Here's what I know...

This is not how your story ends.

You can turn a fresh page. Right now.

You can learn how to cherish your wondrous self. You can embody radical self-love. You can employ radical self-advocacy.

And when you do? Oh, the wellspring of happiness and inspiration and joy that will surge to the surface and spill into every corner of your life!

The incredible adventures you'll embark upon, unimagined outcomes in the areas of work, love, finances, passion projects, service and spirituality.

A life painted with your own paintbrush, in your favorite palette.

I'll stand by you, every step of the way.

Fun Facts

  • I still get residuals from television and movie work from 30 years ago, typically the checks are about 37 cents (I try not to spend it all in one place).
  • I have one kiddo on the Autism Spectrum and one who is Transgender and they are both super-freaking-awesome.
  • I won big bucks on the TV game show "Wheel of Fortune".
  • String cheese needs to be melted for 10 seconds to get that nice, warm, gooey texture. This is required.
  • I can still recite the entire, 3-minute safety script from when I was a roller-coaster operator at Six Flags Great America, "Please hold on to hats, glasses, and cameras, and keep your hands inside the ride at all times." (I'd like that brain space back).
  • My spirit animal is a dolphin. And my only tattoo is of two frolicking on my ankle. Seriously, I LOVE dolphins for their playfulness, natural intelligence, and grace. They're my metaphor for how to live life.
  • I have a proclivity for a math game called "Krypto" where I can do lightning fast calculations in my head. Nobody yet will pay me for this.
  • I'm kind of a dork. I've never been too savvy, sexy, or a "fabulous dahling" kind of a gal. I trip, spill things, and get into fender benders on the regular. "Oops" is a daily word.
  • My family sometimes calls me Verbosa-Barb, despite my chagrin. They say my motto is "Why express something in 5 words when you can use 13?" (Grrr).
  • I fiercely and deeply love my clients. Real love. I see your beauty, your vulnerability, and your humanity. And I celebrate you.
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